Our reflex action can be to turn away from the painful process of
dealing with grief. But the life-giving decision is to meet grief head on
- to turn into it, rather than away from it. It’s not enough simply to
let time pass. Finding meaning in life after loss depends on what you do
during your time in grief.
Carve out time to do your grief work. "How long does grief
last?" There is no universal timetable for grief. Grief is as unique
as the individual and the lost relationship. Set aside time for
intentional grief work. This
may
bring tears, but tears are one of God’s healing balms.
Learn about the normal grief process. "I feel like I am going
crazy" is a common statement made by people in the midst of grief. It
is vital to understand with the "normal" grief process is since
it can seem so abnormal.
Create a new relationship with your loved one. "Letting
go" of a deceased loved one is a scary thought. Doing grief work does
not wipe out the memory of a loved one, but helps to create a new
relationship without the physical presence.
Take a closer look at your beliefs. It is virtually impossible to
experience the death of a significant person in our lives without stirring
up spiritual struggles. Whatever beliefs we create for ourselves, we will
set about gathering evidence to support them. What do you choose to
believe about your life and the future? Those who expect joy to come out
of sadness can discover the beginnings of a new life in the center of the
old.
Look for a turning point. "Why did this happen to my loved one
and to me?" It’s a true turning point in your grief when you are
able to give up asking, "Why?" and instead ask, "Now that
this has happened, what shall I do?"
Written by Kathlyn S. Baldwin
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