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When Grief Does Not Feel Normal
Grief is experienced differently by different individuals. As ‘crazy’ as
you may feel, your feelings are completely normal, given your loss. Grief is one
of the most painful, confusing emotional reactions we can ever have. Yet as
difficult as it is, grief is a normal part of being human. When we lose someone
or something that is extremely important to us, it is like a part of us is being
ripped away. There is a crushing emptiness, a horrible void to fill, and most of
us struggle with how to move past the hurt that our loss has caused.
Part of that difficulty comes from living in a society that denies death as a
part of life. We get the message to hide our feelings. Mourning, the outward
ways we express and process our grief, tends to be equally minimized. By
learning more about grief, you can discover techniques to care for yourself
during your grief.
Recognize and expect the normal symptoms of grief. Grief
is painful and disorienting, but the symptoms you may experience are normal.
These may include: anger, guilt, frustration, sadness, confusion, difficulty
concentrating, sleeplessness, fatigue, mood swings and others.
Embrace the uniqueness of your grief.
Because there is no one else quite
like you, the way you grieve and the length of your grief will be equally
unique. "Telling one’s story" is a proven, powerful method that
allows grieving people to achieve some kind of meaningful personal integration,
especially in a time of life crisis.
There is nothing "normal" about grief. It hurts, it is intense, and
it can feel chaotic. But although grief can cause us to question our sanity,
weathering its stormy course and reaching out for help when we need it can teach
us to know ourselves in a more profound way.
Written by Judith E. Courtney
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This is an excerpt from the booklet "When Your
Grief Doesn’t Feel Normal"
by Abbey Press
and is reprinted with permission of
the publisher.
For a free copy of this booklet, call
910-893-3232.
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